I found this in my wanderings and thought it appropriate to post here on Cablesucks - the original can be found here.
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Thursday, October 27, 2005
With Friends Like These...
Worst ISP on the fucking planet.
Cox Communications, your friend in the digital age? With friends like this who needs any fucking enemies? Let me tell you about Cox Communications based in Atlanta, Georgia.
Not only do I get my internet service from Cox, I also get cable television and telephone service. The whole digital nut, the whole package, a complete telecommunications smorgasbord from my friend in the digital age; that is until their shit doesn’t work – which more often than not, is all the fucking time. Then we're not friends anymore...
One can expect outages from time to time, but when I can predict when the shit is going to go down, as in time of day (night), the impression is that they're not a very good friend.
My internet service went out at exactly 1:58 this morning. I wait a few minutes to see if it comes back, because I'm used to this shit now...
It doesn't.
Half Hour later -- The first call to Cox - I talk to a cartoon for 20 minutes (Digital Max), who is asking me to reset my modem, router, ping Yahoo, enter IP addresses, go to the command prompt – none of which worked, and THEN I get to speak to a fucking human being.
“Yeah… my internet is down…”
“What city do you live in?”
We go back and forth for a bit over what I’ve done to fix the problem, (why the fuck do I have to fix YOUR problem Cox?), and then the human decides to schedule a service call for the morning.
“Look… I’ve had you assholes out here at least a half dozen times… and I’m telling you… it isn’t my shit… “
Though I make the appointment anyway just in case I’m wrong, (I’m not), and it is my shit. Even though I point out that the cable TV and the phone are fucking fine, and the home network and everything else is working, so if something is fucked up, it’s the cable modem which looks fine to me.
Three hours go by, and I’m getting more pissed off by the minute because I still have no internet, so I decide to call back.
“Yeah… what’s up with the internet?”
“Oh… they’re working in the area…” (she rattles off the names of three towns right next to me)
“Really? So… like when is it going to be back up? And why did someone make an appointment for a service call?? Don't you people know when your shit isn't working??? Why can't someone just fucking tell me that it's down when I call the first time??? WHY DO I HAVE TO TALK TO A CARTOON FOR 20 MINUTES AND DICK WITH MY SHIT BEFORE I CAN SPEAK TO A HUMAN WHEN IT'S YOUR SHIT THAT'S FUCKED UP?!?!?!?!?!”
“I’m not sure… but they’re working on it…”
“Let me ask you something… is Cox under the impression that people don’t use the internet after midnight? Because it goes down at least once a night, usually twice, every single fucking night”
“I’m sorry sir… let me call over to dispatch…”
She puts me on hold, where I’m entertained by the cartoon – my fucking friend in the digital age.
“Sir? Yes… I’m being told that it’s back up now… have you reset your modem?”
“Uh yeah… three times already”
“Recently?”
“What, as in the last two minutes?”
“Yes.”
“No”
“Well… please try that and it should come back up…”
“Okay… whatever… fine…”
So I go to the modem and router and cut the power. I wait the prescribed two minutes that cartoon boy says I should, and then turn it on. No surprise, no fucking internet. Now I’m pissed and I’m already dialing Cox back. Fucking lying ass cocksuckers.
“Yeah… I was told the internet was back online…”
“There’s an outage.”
“Yeah… no fucking shit Bill Gates, when the fuck will it be back online?”
“They’re working on it.”
“Great”
So there I sat looking at my monitor – in bandwidth withdrawal, unable to connect, unable to get any work done, unable to do a damn thing. I’ve been lied to, my intelligence has been insulted, I’ve talked to a cartoon, and I still have no internet… until…
At exactly 6:00 AM East Coast Time, things on my desktop light up, and I’m back online. Now tell me that shit wasn’t planned.
I wouldn’t be as upset as I am right now if my outages only happened every once in a while, but when I actually have to plan for service disruptions, I get bullshit from Cox, AND have to talk to a cartoon – enough is enough.
Though they have me by the short hairs. What am I going to do? Go to AOL?
If there was a reasonable choice, it would already be done at this point. DSL in my area sucks, and forget dial-up. You would figure that when you pay a company 70 bucks a month for premium tier, extra extra bandwidth service, that the shit would work – all the fucking time.
To make matters worse, the shit went down again at exactly 6:35 AM, and as I write this – I have no clue when it will come back! Whoops... it came back up... and went down again at exactly 6:45 AM! Thanks a lot Cox! So glad I can depend on you guys for great service... what are you going to do this time? Give me the titty channel free for a month... again???
Since dealing with customer service, technicians, and anyone else has got me no where -- I'm left with one alternative... Public Service Anouncements.
So to Cox Communications, I once again say, “Blow me you assholes…”
Posted by kadams at November 2, 2005 08:51 PM